Dear Quentin,
I learn certainly one of your current letters from a public-school trainer whose boyfriend needed half the price of a trip once they broke up. He works on Wall Street.
This dropped at thoughts my ex demanding that I pay half of our daughter’s uncovered medical invoice. He was making about thrice what I do.
So right here’s my query: When there’s a giant disparity in pay — is 50% of dinner, mortgage, medical payments, trip, utilities and different shared bills justified?
Wouldn’t a extra equitable resolution be based mostly on revenue? Like if I make $50,000 and my accomplice makes $150,000, wouldn’t an equitable association be for me to pay 25%?
I do know now that cash must be a frank and sensible dialogue in any scenario, however I’m questioning what your take is on this.
Mother Left Holding the Bill
Dear Rebecca,
There’s not often such a factor as “fair” in a breakup, particularly in terms of funds.
If one ex is paying alimony and youngster help, they might go away the wedding with years of lingering resentments over how a lot they should pay their ex. For a pair that had a baby collectively, and didn’t get married, the difficulty is extra sophisticated however the absent guardian is compelled by the regulation to pay youngster help. In that case, youngster help pertains to the duty for elevating a baby.
For dad and mom who by no means married, it’s more durable to argue that it’s best to solely pay medical payments to your youngster in proportion to your incomes. Usually, you’d leverage your youngster help to pay for such bills and/or — when applicable — ask your former accomplice to pay their share. If you have been married and divorced, the divorce decree ought to specify how a lot cash every former partner ought to pay for his or her youngster’s training, dwelling bills and medical payments.
Katie Carter, a divorce legal professional with the Hofheimer Family Law Firm in Virginia, has opinions on this concern: “In lots of agreements, I find that opposing counsel (especially when the husband earns more) will try to include that the parties will split the unreimbursed medical expenses 50/50,” she writes. “But that’s not the law. The law says that the parties will split unreimbursed medical expenses pro rata – that is, proportionally, based on their incomes.”
Bottom line: “If he earns 80% of the income, he pays 80% of the unreimbursed medical expenses, she adds. “I would only ever agree to a 50/50 split if the parties’ incomes were equal, or if a pro-rata split would mean that my client would pay more of the expenses. Again, it’s important to look at these numbers. Even if the distinction is only 60/40, it can make a big difference if there’s (heaven forbid!) a catastrophic accident or a bad diagnosis of some kind.”
I’d hate to consider any marriage the place a better incomes partner nickel-and-dimed their accomplice, forcing them to cough up 50% of a trip or dinner, however these are all good conversations to have forward of time. If each companions are working and you’ll afford a bigger residence as a result of the husband or spouse earns thrice their partner’s wage, it might appear churlish to count on each companions to separate the mortgage or dinner out 50/50. But some folks like to rely!
You can e-mail The Moneyist with any monetary and moral questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and observe Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.
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